communication...
I wrote a blog last night, when I was hurting & feeling very alone. I was upset that people rarely ever contact me, and I feel like nobody notices when I try to update themmm... ironically someone I had no idea ever, EVER read my blog read it & thought it was directed at them and was hurt & upset & angry...
I never, ever dreamt that this person would read it, and I never ever meant it to seem like I was attacking her...
But if you do read my blog, how about saying so once in a while? I put my heart & soul into some of the research I do on here, & I rarely bother writing any more coz I think nobody notices, except those people with very poor English who keep leaving comments on my blog telling me they have "exciting new opportunity to investment my money!"
And yes, if you think I am being thin-skinned, I CAN count on one hand the number of phone calls I have received from Australia since leaving almost 2 years ago... 1 voicemail message from my parents on my birthday in 2008, 1 from my best friend when a mutual friend passed away suddenly, 1 from my friend Fee on the spur of the moment (awesome, too!) 1 from my sister when my Uncle passed away which was shocking news to me (& I missed that call) & 1 from my friend Kim just to say hello & she was thinking of me! 5 phone calls in 2 years... I don't think anyone's noticed I've left! I'm not angry, I'm hurt... very sad, very lonely, and very hurt...
Not meaning to take a dig or a shot or whatever at anyone... just trying to make sense of my lonely existence... how could I love where I live, who I live with, what I am doing for a job & the people I now live amongst, but miss my home terribly! I have always known that the people back at home have the same friends on hand, the same routines, the same 'support network'... Their lives are going on like normal, and there is no reason they would miss me... but I miss them.
I'll probably delete this 'stream of conciousness' blog this time tomorrow, too... I suck!
posted by The Crazy Purple Wombat at 11:33 PM
3 Comments:
You do NOT suck, I hereby forbid you to say such things!
*hugs*
The net makes the world seem so small and yet at the same time it really isn't.
I read in google reader and I don't click through to comment - I'll try and do so more often.
3:05 AM
Well i can let you know that i'm reading each blog entry that appears. Not sure if i've put any comments on. Often i don't have anything of much value to say (esp about ww2 london - i'm a dunce in that). And i probably have this general thought in the back of my head that ppl overseas must be waay too busy doing things faaarrrr more exciting than reading me blathering on in their comments box. But i think i'm becoming aware that words don't have to be full of wisdom or insight. They can just be the linguistic equivalent of a high five or a hug - something that adds a bit of warmth at the end of a cold english day.
1:56 PM
*hugs tight tight* I'd love to have weekly converstions with you mei mei. catch up, have time to know what's going on. in fact if i got some skype credit i prolly could because they have very good exchange rates. i miss you so much, and hate that i havent been keeping in touch with people like i used to. i haven't with jie jie erin, nor our wonderful lila, either.
and I haven't been reading your blog as i should because i didn't know there had been updates. maybe advertise on facebook a bit, put a link up once in a while or when you've posted. i think it would help get more people ^^ In any case, I hope we can talk more frequently. and i hope things look up soon.
you know, you're one of the sweetest people i've ever met and i don't want you to be hurting *hugs tight*
5:59 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home