On line relationships...
Until a few months ago I would have just about sneered at the thought of an online relationship being sincere or realistic in this day and age... but several people have changed my mind about that and I think I should try to work out why...
I know some of you are thinking "Oh she's talking about on line romance!", well ...yes, and ...no.
Yes - there is a special someone with whom I communicate on line every day (it is seriously unusual for us not to exchange at least one email or PM) and, yes - I would describe him as being more than 'just a friend' (if you can ever describe a friend as 'just' that), but I am also realising that there is a lot of legitimate relationship building done through the Internet in terms of friendships and mentoring and just plain old fun with folk of a similar mind set...
I find my time on line with my friends is really precious to me, and I also find that my friends (for some odd reason) feel the same way about me too... I have 'adopted' several sisters whom I feel a special connection to - Colorado, New York, Utah, North Carolina and Alabama to name a few... and these wonderful women share so freely of themselves - their lives, loves, concerns, sorrows, family moments, fears, embarrassments hopes! Not only that - but they understand and 'embrace' me when I share the things in my heart and in my life!
There are male friends too whom I have come to treasure and respect and to feel a kinship to - in Scotland, England, the US and Canada... they flirt and chat, share their stories and their problems - sometimes just looking for a female perspective, sometimes just seeking information on the Australia way of life, but always making me smile and feel appreciated!
There are friends with whom I have connected over shared experiences like depression, serious illness, migraines, family relationships and heartbreak... there are friends who leave me in awe of their talents at photo-manipulating, computer skills, imagination and storytelling, insight and vision and their own individual ways of expressing all of these things...
There are friends with whom I feel a kindred spirit, those who let me be there for them when they need picking up or a fresh perspective on something - and those who understand my passions coming to the fore, my frustrations and my ignorance about certain topics, my errors and my compassion...
Don't get me wrong - I have many wonderful friends here in my 'physical life' (for want of a better description) - those who have literally held me while I cried over betrayal or heart ache or a sense of insignificance... those who have given me the privilege of being there when they cry or rage or just vent about the things that are worrying or frustrating them! There are friends with whom I have laughed cried and cringed at the movies and danced and sang at concerts and conventions, whose with whom I have travelled, shared a bed, shared a floor space or shared a sofa! Those with whom I have driven all over the state for a weekend of catching up with folk, those who's marriages and family celebrations I have attended, and those who know me and understand me the best... these are the friends that I cherish and adore and they know this (I hope) and will always know how much they mean to me and the place they have in my life!
What I am trying to say is that what I have discovered in the last 6 months or so is that I can have genuine connections and relationships with people whom I have never physically met... people who share so many of their thoughts and feelings in the written word - who's jokes and teasing pick me up, and who's shared difficulties make me feel needed and wanted - and it is a precious and different kind of friendship/relationship - but none the less a very real and legitimate one.
When a generation of men went to war in both the 1910s and 1930s they wrote letters to their girls and friends and family back at home. The written word is very powerful and can convey a lot about a person - so it is no less important to find that in today's fast paced world there are people who still take the time to communicate and share of themselves freely and perhaps even more so for there being half a planet between them... I enjoy, and have a much greater understanding of, who I am because of the way I share myself with these friends and I feel richly blessed to have these friends share freely of their time and themselves with me!
Oh and that 'special someone'... yeah - he is a bright light in my day, and I want to thank him for that too!
Labels: depression, friends, online friendships, relationships