twists & turns...

Let's face it, 2010 was a really tough year for me, & I was looking forward to 2011 as a way of putting some of the hardest experiences of my life behind me. Of course the sense of loss, after my beautiful mother passed away last September, will possibly never be 'behind me' and with each new anniversary or moment which reminds me of some aspect of her personality, I feel the grief again, but I am in a place now where I am so grateful for the 43 years of my life which I got to share with her, & for the opportunity to say goodbye, which so many people never get.


I am also finding that, while I value myself as an individual who doesn't need a man in my life, I am looking forward again & hope to find someone special to spend time with... To this end I have done something I never really thought I ever would, & I have joined a 'online dating service'. eHarmony actually call themselves a 'relationship' site rather than a 'dating' site, which is supposed to help attract people of both sexes who are looking for a meaningful relationship rather than just hooking up with people of the opposite sex for more casual interaction. So far I have seen some very nice & very interesting men pop up on there, but I am taking things slowly, making minimal contact with just a few of them. We'll see what happens...

I am also on the hunt for a new family to live & work with... My beautiful Zach, & his lovely parents are anticipating the arrival of new baby in May, & Ali has decided to extend her maternity leave & enjoy being a full-time Mummy for a while. While I am very sad to be leaving such a caring, wonderful family & a home & job I love, I am also thrilled for them that they are on the brink of welcoming a new baby into their family, & I know I will keep in close contact with them in the coming weeks & months... with this in mind I have been focusing my job-hunting efforts on the local area, & have had a very promising interview with an Australian family who live about 15-20 mins walk from my current home. I have my fingers crossed!

One of the most positive things I have done this year is seek couselling, something I would recommend for anyone going through grief, loss, hurt or confusion which they are stuggling with. In my case it was a really a combination of so many very difficult events of the past 12-18 months, topped off with the fact that while I have some wonderful friends here in London, I do not have my very closest friends who know me inside out & whom I feel completely free to pour my heart out to... Naomi is an amazing cousellor & I see her once a week, on a Friday evening, & she has asked me questions I've never asked myself! It's an amazing journey exploring my personality & finding out how strong I really am!

I am also feeling very blessed by the friends I do have, and am making more time to spend with them! In the last couple of weeks I have seen "The Compete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)" with my gorgeous 2nd cousin (& adopted little sister) Siobhan, and last weekend went with my friend Bridie to see "Hairspray" starring Michael Ball, Marty Dolenz & the amazing Laurie Scarth as Tracy Turnblatt! I love every moment I get to spend with these beautiful friends & family! I treasure them more than I ever did!


I am not so good at phoning or skyping or even writing emails home, but I do try to write on facebook every day & upload photos I am constantly taking of my life from my own, unique pespective... I even have a themed collection of photos titled, "Lost" which show various items I see every day, on the footpath, sitting incongruously on fences & even lying in the gutter...


I am really enjoying reading more books & watching more films, having managed to see "The King's Speech", "The Social Network" & "Black Swan in the cinema this year & also catching up on some older titles on DVD... I even watch "Castle" staring Nathan Fillion & Stana Katic most weeks, & also love "True Blood" of which season 3 is currently screening in the UK at present! I am currently reading 2 boks right now - "Death's Daughter" by Amber Benson, & "The Time Travellers Guide to Medieval England". Two very different books, & I am really enjoying both of them!

So, I shall be moving on at Easter, perhaps watching less of my favourite shows (depending on whether I manage to have Sky TV at my next home or not), continue to watch films & theatre, perhaps keep up with my blog a little better, hear the voices of my loved ones & possibly even meet someone special! Who knows what else 2011 will hold for me!

Being the guest of Lord Sackville, of Knole

I am so privileged to have been the guest of Lord Sackville, of Knole, Sevenoaks, and allowed to wander in his garden for some time this Wednesday, last.

OK, that sounds good, but in fact I was not the only one, and all I had to do was produce my National Trust membership! (Thank you once again, Mum!) On each Wednesday of the ‘open house season’ Lord Sackville very kindly allows the National Trust to open up his private gardens, and I was thrilled to visit on a day that was not only sunny (in patches) but had brooding, black clouds hovering the whole time! This is the beautiful kind of weather, typical of spring and autumn, which I love to take photographs in, and so I did!
I had such a lovely time wandering through the garden via the many paths that criss-cross and wind their way from formal and open areas, to herbaceous borders to the wilderness section of the garden with its many different varieties of oaks… there was even a eucalypt! The wilderness section was possibly the first of it’s kind in England, and was started in Tudor times by a previous Lord Sackville, and is mentioned in the diaries of Lady Anne Clifford, who was one time Lady Sackville, and was also the heir to Skipton Castle in Yorkshire. I actually read her diaries many years ago, never dreaming that I would, one day, wander in her wilderness for myself! One of the things that makes this place so magical to me, is that whilst being a remarkable grand house, really on the scale of a palace, it is also a family home. There was evidence in the vast gardens with the tennis courts, swimming pool (covered for the cooler season, and probably for the safety of small children) and the small see-saw just outside one of the doors, near a vast area of lawn! It was almost exactly like one which the children I nannied for 7 years had in their play room, and I thought how similar children’s taste in play things is the world over!
I kept coming across the house from different angles, all of which were impossible to view from without the Medieval garden walls. The sun kept peeping through the dark, clouds and the sky was stunning! I was thinking “this is a jigsaw puzzle photograph!” Just inside the gate, where visitors enter and exit and private gardens, is the herb garden. I loved the way it was laid out, in a wheel-like formation, with a cherub statue in the centre, and different species of herbs of many varieties both within the the ‘wheel’ and around the edges of the garden, which is enclosed by a hedge. It was fragrant and pretty!
Knole seems to have some kind of magic to it… I am drawn to this place, again and again! When I first saw photographs of it I thought it looked grey and dull, and nothing near as exciting as nearby Ightam Mote, but each time I visit I am amazed to discover something new about the house, the park, the history and the magic of the place! The surrounding park, in case I failed to mention, is the oldest existing deer park in England! The deer are so beautiful too, and although still officially wild, some of them will let you get quite close.
I suspect I shall keep returning to this ancient seat of the Sackville family many more times whilst living in Kent. I also suspect this shalln't be the last blog I write on the subject! It’s a topic that is already very dear to my heart!

London Open House - part 3, The FCO

Having had an amazing experience with the modern architecture of City Hall, I knew exactly where I wanted to go next, and I decided to walk half way then catch the tube the rest of the way! I was glad I did the walking part coz I had known there was a big cycling event on in London today, and had seen clusters of folk on bikes, many of them in sponsorship safety vests, but had not seen any of the closed roads I had heard about... On my way to the tube I crossed an overpass and saw hundreds of folk on bikes taking over the streets of London! It was wonderful to see!

The event is called The London Freewheel, and this year it was sponsored by Sky Sports Chanel! I took some photos... naturally! It gave me a good feeling to see London's streets given over to bikes instead of cars, taxi's, motorcycles and buses!

More information on the London Freewheel event here: http://www.london.gov.uk/freewheel/

Then on to the Foreign & Commonwealth Office! I had been told by several people that I would love it, and they were completely correct! When I got there I mentioned that so many folk had recommended I visit, and one of the security guards who works there told me he still gets goosebumps when he looks at it all! He, along with several others, also told me that it just keeps getting better and better as you go along!

Again - they were completely correct!

You enter the office through a covered drive in area, then into a huge court yard and to your left, where you enter the building up a marble staircase, with two huge carved firepaces on either side, and the statue of a Gurkha soldier in front of you.

Then through a humble looking doorway, on the other side of which is the Gurkha staircase, beautifully carved and the original site of the statue we already passed in the entrance hall. To one side of this lovely staircase was an alcove which contained three small recycling bins, I was tickled to think that this must be the most attractive recycling station in England!

We did not ascend the stairs, however, and continued along the same coridoor. All was very pretty and clearly the workmanship was top quality and had been carefully restored, but nothing truly remarkable, expecially to a girl from Marvelous Melbourne! For those of you who don't know it, Melbourne was, for a brief period in the 1860-70s, the wealthiest city in the world, on the floor of money coming in from the Victorian goldfields. The resulting wealth was displayed by banks who wanted to appear more grand and sturdy, or safe, to their prospective customers so some magnificent Neo-Gothic buildings were constructed. Many of them, along Collins Street and Spring Street still stand today, and Melbournians are proud of their rich, Victorian heritage. So, visiting a building of Neo-Gothic architecture, which was entered from the more humble areas, was wonderful and interesting, but not worthy of goosebumps... yet!

Along this corridoor we went towards the heart of the India Office, who's entrance we had just come through. Along the way the light changed from electric to natural, and there, on my right, was a magnificent courtyard! It was glassed over, making it an all weather space, and there were various displays in it, and despite the organised information it still felt extremely spacious.

The India office has some really lavish details to it, mostly because, at the time it was being built, India was bringing a huge amount of wealth into Britain and the architect of the interiors, Matthew Digby Wyatt, had pretty much a 'bottomless purse' to budget with. The next room I entered was The India Office Council Chamber, and I thought this was lush and beautiful. I was completely taken with the dark, mahogony surfaces, the rich, deep pinks of the curtains and carpets, and the huge marble mantel piece and carving above it. The whole room had been enjanced with much gilding of cornices, wall surfaces, cabinets and even minor details. It had a lot of natural light from the nearby Dunbar court yard, but was also lit by beautiful lamps hung from the ceiling.
As I dragged myself away from this lovely, warm and inviting, yet still business-like room, I mentioned to the guard that I knew what everyone was talking about when they recommended I visit today. He told me, "you ain't seen nothing yet!"

So, down some corridoors and through to another stairway, which we didn't ascend either, but which was accessible to a point so that the public could gaze upon the magnificent light well which was supported by several 'goddesses'. It was called The Muse Staircase, and the natural lighting pouring in was enhanced by the white figures apparently holding the glass in place.

Enthralled I carried on, and when I entered a corridoor which had vaulted ceilings and a deep, rick blue background to gold stars and supporting arches I stopped to take a photograph. The guard seemed amused, and I smiled at him, but a moment later I realised that in my enthusiasm for the narrow corridoor ceiling I had walked past double doors to yet another magnificent saloon. This was more breathtaking than any I had yet been in to! No wonder the guard smiled at my excitement for a mere vaulted ceiling!

The Conference Room of the Locarno Suite was where I had arrived, and I spent several minutes sitting and taking in the lavish interiors of this gorgdous space. The walls were hand painted and gilded with rich colours and patterns, the carpet and furnishings offset the rest of the room beautifully, and, again, there was lots of natural light to enhance the gorgeous, classicly shaped lamps which hung from the ceiling and were mounted on the walls. The most breathtaking aspect of this room for me was the ceiling, which was detailed with shape and gilding and paint and enhanced with lighting! I thought this must be the last room as it was so beautiful and I had been told that it kept getting better, but I was very wrong. The next room, which actually was rather small by comparisson and was a connecting room to two larger ones, was the official dining room of the Locarno Suite. This entire area, I later found out, had all been given false ceilings, the decoration covered up and partitioned off into tiny, artificially lit office spaces. It was now as opulent and rich as it had first been envisaged to be by the original architect, George Gilbert Scott. The colours were very different to the two adjoining rooms, and the room had a very different ambinace to the other two in the suite of three.

From here I entered a real masterpiece! The main, Reception Room of the suite had high, vaulted ceilings which were painted with various constellations and symbols of the zodiac. Their design had been lost long ago, and the renovators of the post-WWI 1920s had used pumice stone to remove most of the decoration in here. To the astonishment, and delight of the restoration team they had failed to complete the tast properly, and there was one section, which together with written descriptions meant they were able to restore this amazing room to it's original design as well. The light poured in through arched windows on both sides of the length of the room, and the effect was almost breathtaking.
This is the room where the the Locarno Treaties, designed to reduce strife and tension in Europe, were signed by all the involved parties, after being initialled at Locarno in Switzerland in October 1925. The only room considered large enough at the time it was rather shaby even then and lots of huge paintings and portraits were hung to cover the decaying decoration on the walls. Of course, this historical moment is where the suite of rooms gets it's current name. So I sighed a contented sigh and left what was surely the last of the magnificent rooms of the tour... but whilst correct in it being the last room, I was not prepared for the hallway and grand staircase beyond it! The magnificent Grand Staircase contains marble columns, a duplicated split staircase, rich, deep red carpets and magnificent murals all depicting different aspects of England as Brittania! The light in here is again a combination of natural and arificial. I really didn't want to leave after all of this, but I lingered around the sides of the upper level which the public had access to, stopping briefly to admire the informal sitting room of the Foreign Secretary, and then on down the staircase, feeling very underdressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and so out to the huge courtyard through which I had entered over an hour ago! This had been a visit well-worth making, and if any of you are ever in London and have the opportunity to see the FCO I highly recommend it!

There is more information about some of these rooms at the FCO website here: http://www.fco.gov.uk/en/about-the-fco/history-and-buildings/tour-our-buildings1/buildings-inside-uk/king-charles-street/

... and of course there is a set in my flickr account here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157607491591664/

So on towards home, and most importantly after this weekend, on towards my bed!

London Open House – Part 2 City Hall

The next day, Sunday, I went into the city again, and this time I got to play ‘tourist’, although beening a volunteer gave me priority access to any place I visited, that is, I got to jump the queue… I hadn’t intended to, but when I got to the City Hall there was a queue for security screening, and I really needed to use the bathroom… well it worked out in the end, coz I was a volunteer!

The City Hall did not disappoint! I went straight up to the 9th floor where I was able to walk around the balcony which has an almost 360 degree view of the River Thames, the Tower of London, the Tower Bridge and the city skyline, as well as the surrounding residential developments and landscape. I was also impressed with the solar panels which covered the roof of the landmark building.
Of course I went a bit snap happy, whilst up there, but I was really anticipating the amazing, spiral staircase which leads from the 9th floor down to the 2nd floor and directly into the Council Chamber itself!

Unfortunately they were filming a segment for a political TV show in there when I got to this point, but I was informed that they would be finished in a few minutes, so I went down to the lower ground floor and enjoyed the exhibition of Olympics inspired art, as well as getting to see the Olympic Flag, which London took possession of just a few weeks ago in Beijing! I took photos… of course… On my way down, and when I was in the exhibition, I met a wonderful lady. Actually I was looking at some artwork on the way down to the lower level, and paused to take some photographs. This lady was chatting with some other people and I thought she had a lovely vibe to her. A moment later she was chatting with me and I realised she was the artist whose work I was photographing, and she said she was happy for me to do so! I was taken with her sculpture of two synchronised divers and we chatted for a while, she was such a lovely person, very warm and her work had really caught my attention, with its Art Nuevo and Art Deco influences in the lines and shapes, and the colours she had selected where colour was used. Her name was Ginger Gilmour, and although a native of the USA, she now lives and works in the UK. We really clicked in a short time, and I came away with a lot of pictures of her lovely work, as well as a catalogue of her beautiful creations, which we both know I can’t afford, but she wanted me to have the pictures in it anyway. Her website is here: http://www.gingerart.net/

After admiring the work in the lower ground floor gallery, I went back up to the 9th floor for the sole purpose of walking down again! It was well worth the wait, and the trip into London on this particular weekend!

The whole building seems to reject any preconcieved notion of what a building should look like, and is non-symmetric, but flowing, and despite some really odd angles to it, it feels balanced and secure! The views from outside were wonderful – the view from inside was fantastical! From above it looked like a glass whirlpool, or water funnel! It seemed like I was walking down a staircase which was impossible! It didn’t flow in concentric circles, nor did it really go in circles at all, but rather in ovals and swirls… it reminded me of an apple peeling a little… I took so many photos, and I really love them! There is, of course, a sizeable set in my flickr account here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157607491981236/ and some of my favourites are here besides! The fact that I have never really given modern architecture much consideration, but now feel I am rather passionate about this building, as well as London’s famous ‘gherkin’ (30 St Mary’s Axe) says a lot about the impact of this remarkable vision made a reality!

As you can see from these few photographs the curves and glass and light gave me so much inspiration to photograph people, and objects and space in very different ways... It was a photographers dream!

I know I mentioned the solar panelling on the roof, but the use of natural light also adds to the ecological aspect of the offices, and the wide, sloping ramps in the public areas make it extremely user friendly for those in wheelchairs, or with prams.

London Open House - Part 1 Admiralty House

Last Saturday was the first of two days of the annual London Open House weekend. This is a non-profit organised event when people can visit buildings not normally open to them, with a view to learning about the architecture, and appreciating the history.

I first heard about the Open House weekend when I was exploring the city in July, and I wandered into the City Hall, on the south bank of the Thames, opposite the Tower of London. I remember being completely mesmerised with the modern architecture, which seemed to have completely shunned symmetry, straight lines and right angles. I spent over an hour in the limited public area, photographing it, taking in the exhibition on the lower ground floor, looking at the view from the public gallery on the 2nd floor and generally falling in love with London's modern architecture. At the time I was talking with a security guard about public access and he mentioned that if I came back on the weekend of 20th/21st September, the whole building, apart from offices, would be open to the public as part of 'Open House'. Intrigued I made a mental note to check this out on the net next time I was online.

Well, I went one further than that! When I checked out the website, they were looking for volunteers to act as guides and stewards at the many buildings which were open on that weekend, so I put my name down to do just that!

Saturday 20th was my stint as a steward at the former Admiralty Buildings and Admiralty House. This is a place steeped in tradition, and many significant moments in British history have occurred here. When I arrived I was given a quick tour by Charlotte Henshaw, the wonderful curator of the MOD (Ministry of Defence) who is based at 26 Whitehall (former Admiralty House) and had organised today's self-guided tours and the volunteers arrangements.

One of the highlights for me was being allowed into a couple of rooms that the public weren't allowed into! This included a small sitting room where we took our breaks and enjoyed coffee and biscuits, just as beautifully furnished as the rest of them!

I had a wonderful day, explaining about the history of the two buildings, which back onto Horse Guards Parade, and where the Admiralty has met for centuries. 26 Whitehall, which was built in 1725, contains the oldest boardroom, in continuous use, that is still used for the purpose for which it was built. It contains carvings which predate the building itself, and were rescued from the former Whitehall Palace following it's almost complete destruction by fire, and is still used today by the First Lord of the Fleet to plan marine operations. It has hosted British Government Cabinet meetings when 10 Downing Street has been renovated, and is still used by the Deputy Prime Minister for his cabinet meetings today. Incidentally, the building is no longer officially 'The Admiralty', but it does contain the offices of several Cabinet Ministers and their staff.
The dwelling and official rooms in a separate building which adjoin the older, official one, were really a treat! Built in 1785, the architect was Samuel Pepys Cockerell, and the design was inspired as it is really a very narrow building, but feels extremely spacious and light! It was squeezed into the space between the official Admiralty building and the Horse Guards, and in order to make the most of the limited space, it contains a marvellous staircase, which a split return and a lunette above to give a sense of space and light.

All throughout the buildings are works of art which are mostly of a nautical theme. Some render moments of historic sea battles, others are studies for famous works of art. There are many, many views of various famous seamen, and ships, in both sculpted form and in paint.

There is a table in the official dining room, which was roped off to the public (but which I was able to touch), which was noted by Winston Churchill to be his favourite writing surface. The Churchill's lived at Admiralty House from 1911-1913, and again from 1939-1940, both coinciding with the periods of his appointment as First Lord of the Admiralty. The Music Room which contained furninshing presented to Admiralty House by Lady Diana Cooper, was the scene of Harold McMillan's sumary sacking of 6 members of his cabinet, known now as 'The night of the long knives'.

At the end of the day I had enjoyed myself so much that I wanted to volunteer again next year! I was chatting with my fellow volunteer, Bridgette, as well as Charlotte, about my passion for history, and Bridgette suggested we wander down Whitehall to see if it was too late to visit another building she knew I would enjoy. The Banquetting Hall was only open on the Saturday of the Open House weekend, and we had missed the opportunity to see it, unfortunately.
On the upside, walking and chatting with Bridgette meant we discovered that we had some things in common, and without intending to, we ended up spending the next 3 hours together, wandering from Whitehall, via the Horse Guards and King Charles II street (near the Foreign & Commonwealth Office) to Westminster, across the bridge to the South Bank which we followed along to the Festival Hall and watched a free dance performance which Bridgette knew about. She showed me where to find out about any free or discounted activities in the Festival Hall, and shared some of her experiences as a singer, actor and photographer. Bridgette showed me where the Library of Poetry was, and I was able to aquire a free book from them! Then we headed over to the National Theatre, where she showed me more places to find out about free performances and opportunitites for special events, and through to the next building where we heard a friend of hers playing in a jazz trio, saw a terrific exhibition of theatrical photography, and a general art show, then back out to visit a food festival where I was happy to be able to shout her some food after all her time showing me the ins and outs of the theatre scene in London. One of the highlights, for me, was discovering the British Film Institue's Media Room where you can go in and book a screen for up to 2 hours and watch all manner of random things. The selection ranged from really old silent movies, to weirdly bohemian 1960 'art theatre' (the one with Germain Greer singing 'Do you Love Me?' will be burned into my memory forever!) to classic films such as 'A Room With a View' and others... commercials and shots from the cinema of the past, short documentaries and stand up comics are included in the collection, and it's all free!

After 3 hours wandering through the south bank of the Thames and reconnecting with my theatrical roots, I knew I had found a new friend! I had also found a wonderful source of food in Spice! A restaurant which had a booth in the food festival, and who's dishes were absolutely delicious! I can highly recommend them to anyone in London!

I headed home via the Merri-go-round near the London Eye, and across the Hungerford Bridge where I experimented with the settings on my Kodak camera and got some fairly decent night-photographs. I was really tired when I got home, but I had had a wonderful day! Unfortunately there was a strict no photography rule in the Buildings, which included the courtyard, but the previous week, and the next day, I took a couple of photographs of the building from the street. Such as they are, the set is here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157607548760972/ and the rest of the day's photos are here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157607554356071/